I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
