I must be too annoying 4 u.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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