She is in my trunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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