Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
