its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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