hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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