I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
