I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
