Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
