you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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