I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
