i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
