oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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