yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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