John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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