i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
