8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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