I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
