White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
