I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
