If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
