So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
