last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
