i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize