I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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