I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
