How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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