that's an acceptable place to lick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
