I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Drunk is not a location!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
