Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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