I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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