Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
