Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize