It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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