I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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