It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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