When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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