I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
