Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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