his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize