New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
