All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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