I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You pole danced in your parka.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
