This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
NoShamevember. You game?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
