so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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