4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
