There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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