I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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