perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
