Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
