the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize