exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
