how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
