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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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