I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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