Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
