i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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