around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
