All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
